This Mother’s Day I have not gotten to connect with my mother. We have both been off on weekend adventures. I am looking forward to hearing about hers this week, and she will hear about mine too. But, I have been thinking particularly about my mother and mothering today, really this whole week leading up to Mother’s Day. What do I appreciate about my mother? What are her lessons I want to pass on to my children? How to get this mothering thing right?
I am not sure I can ever answer the last question, and there are too many things to name for the first, but that middle question is something I think about and sometimes have tangible answers to. I feel my mother taught me some wise lessons when I was quite young, partly due to the fact that we had somewhat of a difficult time in my early years. My father was diagnosed with a brain tumor when I was 2, my parents divorced when I was 4, and my father died when I was 6. Whew! Pretty tough stuff. Even after all that, my mom encouraged us to stay positive, to smile, to live and work. Her pragmatic outlook helped get through that tough stuff, and many future tough events. Tragic and difficult things happen in life. Mourning is good and important, but life has to carry on, and we may as well try to make it a good life, remembering the past and being optimistic about the future. “It is what it is” is a saying of hers, reminding herself that we often have to accept an outcome that we do not like. It is a way to avoid getting stuck in disappointment and grief. And in that way, it also gives hope that things will get better.
Just one life lesson I hope to pass on to my children.
Love you Mom!